One child needs to talk through everything. The other one wants to be left alone.
One thrives on routines. The other lives for spontaneity.
You’re not doing anything wrong — you’re just parenting very different personalities.
And if you’ve ever wondered why the same parenting approach works for one child but backfires with the other? This blog is for you.
No, Your Kids Aren’t Being Difficult — They’re Just Wired Differently
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking one child is “easier” or “more emotional” or “better at listening.” But often, those differences come down to personality, not effort.
At Unify, we use a simple, research-backed model called DISC, which helps you understand your child’s behavioural tendencies — and your own. The DISC model includes four core styles:
- Dominant – confident, goal-oriented, likes control
- Influential – energetic, social, thrives on connection
- Supportive – calm, steady, needs security and routine
- Cautious – thoughtful, detailed, avoids risk
None of these styles are better or worse — just different. And knowing how your child is wired can change the way you connect with them, teach them, and respond to their needs.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
Let’s say you have two children:
Your oldest is Dominant — assertive, independent, always negotiating.
Your youngest is Supportive — sensitive, slow to warm up, prefers one-on-one time.
The same tone of voice or expectation might motivate one and completely overwhelm the other. One might love challenges and take risks, while the other wants time to feel safe before trying something new.
The result? You feel like you’re constantly bouncing between parenting styles — and still getting it wrong.
Why Understanding Personality Changes Everything
When you know your child’s personality style, you can:
Adjust how you give feedback
Set expectations in a way that actually sticks
Motivate them based on what matters to them
Avoid misreading behaviour as defiance or laziness
Create boundaries that work with their wiring, not against it
This doesn’t just help your child — it helps you. Because parenting different personalities without insight? That’s exhausting.
What About Sibling Clashes?
Sibling tension often stems from clashing styles — not just rivalry.
🟡 A Dominant child may try to “lead” every game.
🟢 A Cautious sibling may feel controlled and shut down.
🟠 An Influential child wants noise and friends.
🔵 A Supportive child might crave quiet and structure.
Knowing each child’s DISC style helps you mediate with understanding, not just fairness. You can create space for both personalities to thrive — without anyone feeling overlooked.
And Let’s Not Forget You
You also have a personality style. Maybe you’re a Supportive parent who avoids confrontation — and your Dominant child is pushing every boundary. Maybe you’re a Cautious parent who loves structure, but your Influential child is all over the place.
Knowing your own style helps you see where friction naturally arises — and what small shifts can make a big difference in how you relate to each of your children.
Take the Guesswork Out
At Unify, we’ve created DISC-based assessments tailored for:
🔸 Children (ages 6–12)
🔹 Teens (ages 13–18)
🟩 And parents too
You’ll get simple insights into each child’s core style, how it shows up at home, and how to support them more effectively. Plus, you’ll see where your parenting style overlaps or clashes — and what to do about it.
Final Thought
Raising kids with different personalities is a challenge — but it’s also an opportunity. With the right insight, you don’t have to guess, repeat yourself, or feel stuck in the middle of sibling chaos. You can understand each child for who they really are — and parent in a way that helps everyone feel seen.